Simon Magus

Birth 1st Century BC

Not a Church father, but the father of Gnosticism and all the heresies we set out in the appendix to the chapter ‘Holy Celibacy and Good-natured Paedophiles’. In The Acts of the Apostles he’s represented as a magician and the apocrypha depicts him as a flying incarnation of the devil, whom Peter manages to return to earth in the name of Jesus Christ. He believed that the world was created by a made-up God and is all an illusion. The only way to destroy the illusion is to fulfil your every desire, desires being the only manifestations of the true God. We would be more than happy to give up our atheism for that kind of Christianity.

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